In which I give a talk

Here is my talk I gave in church last week. Enjoy.


For the past two years my family has gone to watch the Vaux Swift birds who migrate through Portland each year. They stop at Chapman school and roost in the chimney each night for several weeks in September. This is an amazing spectacle to see, with up to 15,000 birds flying around the chimney and then, in unison, at sunset flying in a vortex pattern before they fly into the chimney where they sleep for the night. While watching them I’ve wondered how they decide it’s the right time to go in the chimney—some birds fly in right away, while some spend a good deal of time hanging around, flying this way and that, for some reason taking their time to get into the chimney. Both times we have gone at some point during the evening a large hawk comes out and flies through the Swift birds for an easy dinner. This year the bird came from behind the crowd and there was an audible Ooooohhh as he basically dive bombed the birds. After that the Swifts were much quicker about getting into the chimney. These birds fly the same journey each year and they stay in this same chimney for 30 days in a row. One of the volunteers from the Audobon society told me the same hawk comes every year, every day while the birds are there.
At this point I leaned over to my mom and said, “You know, if Bishop Papenfuss were here he would use this as an analogy for the gospel.” To which she replied, “Well, you are giving a talk on Sunday.” So. I couldn’t help but think that this is kind of like us in our lives. We’re on this journey and we’ve been told many times what to do to be safe. The chimney is those things—things we hear from our prophets like read scriptures, do service, be more Christ-like. We know what to do to stay close to the gospel and sometimes we do it, we’re quick about it, we’re the first bird in the chimney—but other times we can be a little slow, for many different reasons. We want to spend a little more time flying around enjoying ourselves, even though we know that not doing these things, not staying closely connected to the Gospel, to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is dangerous.
In a few weeks we will have another General Conference where we will have the opportunity to gain guidance and direction in the best ways to keep ourselves safely connected to the gospel. When I was little I used to be excited when the Prophet would speak because I thought maybe he would say something new and exciting, and yes maybe shocking. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that the Prophet is not going to announce in General Conference that yes the rumor is true, we’re moving to a 2 hour block and getting rid of Sunday school. There will most likely not be anything new and shocking in the talks in a few weeks, rather we will hear the same messages we’ve heard before. The question, then, is what we do with these messages.

As I looked back at the last several years of General Conference talks I noticed that President Hinckley nearly always said the same thing at the close of the conference. His was always a message of change, of opportunity for improvement, more than just a spiritually uplifting conference.
At the end of one conference several years ago President Hinckley said, “We now conclude this great conference. We have enjoyed a wonderful feast at the table of the Lord. We have been instructed in His ways after His pattern.
Each of us should be a little better for this rich experience. Otherwise, our gathering has been largely in vain.”
I distinctly remember hearing him say this and thinking how sad it would be if, after all the hours of preparation that goes into General Conference that it would be in vain. In looking at his other closing remarks you notice a distinct pattern of encouragement not to just feel good about conference, but to find a way to make changes in our life because of it.
Here are just a few excerpts of his closing remarks from the past couple years of conference.
· He said, “I am satisfied that the Latter-day Saints have within their hearts a desire to do the right thing, to live after the manner which the Lord has outlined for us. We have been reminded of many of these things during this conference.
· I hope that when we return to our homes, before retiring for the night we each will get on our knees and express our appreciation and ask for the strength to live the gospel more fully as a result of this conference.”
· What a wonderful conference this has been, my brothers and sisters. As we return to our homes and to our daily activities, each of us should be a better individual than we were when the conference opened. All who have spoken have done very well. The prayers have been inspirational. The music has been magnificent. But what matters most is what may have occurred within each of us as a result of our experience. I, for one, have made a stronger resolution within myself to be a better person than I have been in the past. I hope that I will be a little kinder to any I meet who may be in distress. I hope that I will be a little more helpful to those who are in need. I hope that I will be a little more worthy of your confidence. I hope that I will be a better husband, a better father and grandfather. I hope that I will be a better neighbor and friend. I hope that I will be a better Latter-day Saint, with an increased understanding of the wonderful aspects of this glorious gospel.

Now, keep in mind this is President Hinckley speaking. I don’t know about you, but I for one always assume that he is already the most kind, helpful, worthy, and knowledgeable person in the gospel. The fact that he feels the same sense of needing to do better in his life gives me encouragement and helps me to not get too overwhelmed.

And a last quote from President Hinckley, “This gospel is an intimate thing. It is not some distant concept. It is applicable in our lives. It can change our very natures.”
Before I had Molly I thought becoming a mother would change my very nature. I kind of assumed that as soon as she was born I would be blessed with unlimited patience, that overnight I would become 100% righteous. You know, I would be “that person.” That person we all know is inside of us if we can just find a way to live up to our potential. Now, a lot of things did change within me once I became a mother. It was another experience, however, that changed my nature even more, and it came from listening to the Prophet.
In August 2005 President Hinckley challenged the members of the church to read the Book of Mormon before the end of that year. I completed the challenge, and read the Book of Mormon every day during that period. This wasn’t the first time I had read the Book of Mormon, but it was the first time I had read every day for an extended period of time. Because of that experience I can honestly say my nature has been changed. It changed my desire to learn more about the gospel, it increased my testimony, it changed my willingness to follow the commandments and really do the things I needed to do to become closer to Heavenly Father. It is interesting to me that this experience, more than becoming a mother, which is really the most significant change in my life, changed my heart. And it was such a small thing if you look at it objectively, reading 1 ½ pages day in and day out.
I am a counselor and so each day when I meet with clients, I am working with people who are trying to change, sometimes in small ways, but most times in very large ways. They are trying to change ways of communicating, ways of handling anger, depression, anxiety, things many of them have done their entire lives. These habits are entrenched and most times the people I work with are overwhelmed even at the thought of making these changes, even when they know it will bring healing and greater happiness. The key I have found through my education, training, and working with many clients includes 3 things. Making goals for change that are:

1) simple
2) realistic
3) measurable
The Bishop talked a couple weeks ago about the steps Nephi took to build the boat to take his family to the promised land. He spoke of the small and simple steps Nephi took to go about this, and how this is like our own life. We don’t have to be that perfect person tomorrow, we just have to take the first step. And that first step should be something simple and specific. The goal of becoming a better person, well what does that mean? And how do you know when you’ve gotten there? A goal like this is also complicated, it involved so many aspects of a personality. For me sometimes it is hard to believe that small and simple steps can really get us to where we want to be. But in D&C 64:33 we read: Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.
Our goals also need to be realistic. If I’m honest, having a goal to be patient 100% of the time is not realistic for me right now. Maybe someday it will be. I’m thinking it might be easier when there aren’t at least 3 tantrums thrown in my house before breakfast. I was talking to a friend about gardening, she lives next door to a retired couple who spend all day working on their yard. I love that my friend just said, there is a time and season for everything, and right now, with little kids, my yard is not going to look as nice as theirs. In Mosiah 4:27 King Benjamin tells his people “it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.” So yes, it’s important that we work on bettering ourselves, but we don’t have to work on every shortcoming, every weakness today.
When I am working with clients on beginning the change process, I ask them not just what are you willing to do, but what are you willing to do tomorrow? I have found that asking this of myself is a good way to narrow my goals and be honest with myself about my capabilities. It keeps me from getting overwhelmed, and making a list of goals based on the twenty or so talks you hear in conference, and thinking I need to do everything right now.
Another vital aspect of successful change is to make goals that are measurable. This helps you know exactly when you’re doing it and when you’re not.
I want to read my scriptures more is not as good as I’m going to read my scriptures for 15 minutes each day.
I’ll do 3 acts of service each day is much better than “I’ll try to be a nicer person.”
I remember this time when President Hinckley made that challenge to read the Book of Mormon. There was a different spirit about people and an excitement that wasn’t there before. I think there were a lot of people who read the Book of Mormon for the first time, but there were also many who had read it multiple times and still felt a change in their nature through this challenge. The reason this worked for so many people was because it was simple—all you had to do was read, realistic—1.5 pages a day, and measurable—in our stake we had a schedule so you could check off each section as you read it.
I’d like to end with one more closing comment from President Hinckley:
In a few minutes this great Conference Center in Salt Lake City will be emptied. The lights will be dimmed and the doors locked. It will be so with thousands of other halls across this broad world. We shall return to our homes, greatly enriched I hope. Our faith will have been strengthened, our resolve fortified. Where we have felt defeated and beaten, I hope that a new courage has come into our lives. Where we have been wayward and indifferent, I hope that a spirit of repentance has taken hold of us. Where we have been unkind or mean and selfish, I hope that we have determined that we will change. All who walk in faith will have had that faith strengthened.

I hope that in preparing for and listening to this conference we can not be like the procrastinating Swift birds, who flew around and waited to go in the chimney. I want to take this opportunity to take advantage of what can be offered at conference, the opportunity for the gospel to change my very nature.

I would like to bear my testimony that I know that Heavenly Father loves us. I know that he doesn’t expect us to be perfect today and that he understands our faults and weaknesses and shortcomings. I know that as long as we are trying and working to become better that we will be able to live with him again. It is through the atonement that this is possible and I am so grateful for that. I have a testimony that we can, each Sunday renew our covenants and begin again and keep working step by step at being better and doing better. I know that Christ lives and that it is through him that we can, eventually, become perfected in him.